Our first missed holiday...

I started getting a few things (food wise) ready for everyone to get together for Easter. As I continued to put the chocolate in all of the molds, I dreaded doing the next mold because I knew that Alex wasn't going to be there to enjoy is all with us.

Yes, I knew this was going to happen. This all was inevitable. I agree. However I never wanted to actually come to this realization.

Colin and I are going with our upstairs neighbors, Elizabeth and Rachel, to their church for Easter service. I'm excited, but would much rather Alex be there with us. I know he'd hate to be in a church, but I believe that he would enjoy watching his little man have a blast during his first Easter.

So you best believe that the camcorder will be attached to my hand as Colin and I go on the prowl for his first egg hunt. I want Alex to witness it just as though he were there with us.

Even though with all of these preparations and everything to make sure that Alex sees everything that I see... I don't want him to see it through a camera lens. How retarded is that? Stupid war.

Staying up late STINKS!

Literally, staying up late just plain stinks.

I just spent a few minutes looking through pictures of morning when Alex left for Afghanistan. The last of his company left early yesterday morning, and seeing everyone else's pictures made me realize that I hadn't looked at the pictures that Alex and I took for a while. After looking at all of them, I realized that it's not necessarily his touch that I miss... But rather the feeling you get when you know that someone is close to you.

I miss our talks we would have in our kitchen... I would sit up on the countertop and he would stand in front of me. We could talk for hours and now we're lucky if we talk for minutes. There are so many things that we need to talk about, but never have a chance to.

Alex is planning on getting out of the Army next May. In order to do so, he has to find a job in the civilian world with no college education. I also need to find a job with half a college education... Which will get you just as far as having no college education. I'm hoping for a miracle so that Alex can be a little more happy during day to day life.

Joan Rivers definitely just came on the TV in an infomercial. I literally laughed out loud because of all the times Alex said, "That b*tch is still alive?!"

Clean Clean Clean... Where's Cinderella when you need her??

Well of course with Alex being gone and with the lack of time spent in the house, I haven't been cleaning too much! But I have people coming over on Sunday and later on for hopefully an FRG meeting... So I want to make it as cleanly as possible!

Colin is enjoying watching me sing as I scrub the bathroom walls. He laughs when I slip on our stupid, paint chipped bath tub. Of course I don't see what's so funny... but whatever makes him laugh makes my day! :)

Let's try this again, again...

It is now March 31.... Or actually April 1st, because I stay up insanely late!!

Alex has been gone 3 weeks and 4 days. I'm used to him being gone by now, but that doesn't mean that I don't yearn for all of our normal activities. Here it is, newly spring in New York, we have great weather! But I don't go on nearly as many walks as I did when Alex was home and there was good weather. (I'm planning on putting an end to that!)

I severely need to do a deep cleaning of my house, but have no motivation after the sun goes down.... That's my cuddle up with myself and do absolutely NOTHING time. Heck! I spend enough time trying to keep myself busy, I need some time to just lounge.

But of course just because I lounge doesn't mean that I will be sleeping. You see, I don't sleep with deployments. Not even before Alex and I were dating... We were barely friends and would just talk every once in a while or whenever he needed a good listener and I would barely sleep because I would be wondering what he was doing. Although now that's not the problem. I have faith that he will do his job. Sometimes I question if he will take his pledge sincerely that he made to the US and actually put his life in immediate danger or if he will cower (sp?) because he knows that he has a wife and a 4 month old son at home. As sick as it sounds, both make me proud.

I've noticed that many things make me proud. Such as at 5pm when you face the flag and show your respect. I have so much more appreciation for so many different things that I never once thought of. I enjoy so many people's company and yearn for others. I feel the need to be involved and love to be involved.

As the last of the company left today, I began to think of what all of my friends were feeling right now... just as I felt over 3 weeks ago. I will make sure that I am there for them, and that they know that they can always use me as an output for their feelings. I will always listen to my friends and will always show respect to them.

I couldn't ask for better people to be surrounded by. Every one of the people that I talk to day in and day out are there for me and Colin. I appreciate that to no end. I'm sure Alex does, too. I love how a sense of family can come from knowing someone online or just have meeting them once. I am honored to be part of such a large family that is spread over so many different countries and spoken in so many different languages. But it's all understood.

I am thankful and nothing more can be said about that.

Colin had his picture taken with the Easter Bunny today at the PX. They were asking for donations (it was another FRG). The leader held Colin for me while I filled out information for them to email me the pictures. Of course Colin was flirting with the woman, and she was just eating it all up! I hope Colin continues to do so well with strangers... (if you know what I mean) He was perfectly fine with the Easter Bunny, too!! Although I made sure he didn't get a look at him. ....But then again, I'm almost positive that it wouldn't have mattered to him. ;)

Welp, it's 3:18am. Maybe I should take a shower to relax... I'm going to check up on my girls in the morning/mid-afternoon to make sure that they're all okay and see if any of them want to go on a walk. :)

Night all!!

Let's try this again!!

I am having the hardest time keeping up with this... Especially the first week... But now that I've gotten used to Alex being gone, I find that I'm staying up later and waiting to see if he's online. During that time, I get really bored... So maybe this is the time that I will begin to blog, again!!

I am hoping that I gain more followers so that it doesn't feel like I'm writing to no one and that someone is actually listening!

Day Numero Dos

So today was a good day until I got home.

Last night Colin and I slept in my bed because he's sick and I want to monitor his breathing. Then Alex called at 5:45am!! I got to talk to him for about 5 minutes. That will be my last phone call from him for a while, unless he gets a phone over there.

I went with Ashley to put her husband's phone on hold and we saw the Ex-O. Then we went shopping around town (no I did not spend any money). Once we got back on post I realized how barren the post is right now. Kinda made my heart sink when I thought about it. Then I thought about how I was planning on staying here the whole deployment and how my babysitting job fell through. I'm hoping to find a schedule for Colin and I to stick to soon... Once we're both well. Then I got into my apartment and got on the computer, checking facebook. I went to get up, but I knew I couldn't really leave the computer. I'm continuously checking my email and have to have my phone attached to me, even though I know he's not going to respond or call. I think I'm going to go to the store to get some pretty paper so that I can start to write him. I just feel the need to be with Alex, and obviously I can't. It's the most horrible feeling ever.

Part of me can't wait until the rest of the unit leaves so that I have more than one wife to hang out with. I'm pretty sure there are only 4 wives out of my husband's squad that left. Not that I don't appreciate Ashley, I just don't want to disturb anyone from time with their husbands before they go.

I should really clean up and do some laundry, but that would mean that I would have to move all of Alex's stuff. And that just breaks my heart. I want him to come home and put on his jacket and go out to the mall with me. I want him to pick up his towel that's on our bedroom floor and use it for tonight's shower... But all of that won't happen.

I need to start making a list of things to go in his first care package... Whenever I may send that out. lol

Welp, I'm off to push through this!!

Here goes Day One

Unfortunately this will probably turn into a blog about the deployment, but that's okay.

I stopped doing my Photo Project 365 and decided that I would start it back up when Alex deploys. Then I could use each picture to help make a scrapbook titled, "When Daddy's Away, The Baby Will Play." I'm pretty excited about that part. Something to keep me busy!

So today our alarm went off at 6am, but I hit snooze and woke up at 7:15am. What a great start to the day, huh? So we start getting things ready and realize that we have to give one of the married guys a ride... So Alex calls the poor kid and he couldn't find anyone else. So we rushed and got everything together in a matter of 45 minutes and were out the door by 8am.

I dropped off Alex at the barracks and had to go back to the store because he needed a few patches and such and I needed to withdraw some money for him. Well turns out that they didn't have the patches that I needed and then I overdrew our account.

I almost get pulled over on my way back to the barracks. Then I get to the barracks and find out that they moved to 2-22's Cold storage. So Alex runs across the street to get me and we finally get inside out of the wind. From then we just enjoyed each other. The guys left us at about 10am.

From there I went out shopping with a few friends and then came back home. When I came back home I cried, but started coughing at the same time... so it didn't end well. lol Then I had to take Colin to the Clinic because of his cold. And now I'm back home.

Alex said that the tires on the plane blew up... So they're not leaving for a while now.... GREAT!