Really getting out of the Army... GAH!

Yep, I'm scared. I figured getting to Florida would help me settle down because I would be able to help out and look around for jobs and housing. There is NOTHING you can do more than a year out. And I feel so helpless. I realized that I have no idea where we'll be in a little under a year.

Alex wants to enroll in school, but that means that he needs to take his SATs so he won't be able to attend right away. He still needs to find a job and we still need to find a house. I guess there's really not too much to say about it, but I don't like this feeling. I feel like we need the Army for a few more years so that we can save more! We understand what we needed to cut down on and need the time to replenish money that we have used. UGH!

It's been a while...

Holy cow, Batman!! I can't believe that it's been this long since I last blogged. Sorry I've been neglecting this! Believe me, there have been many times where I should have blogged but just haven't. I feel like I lost my urge to write for a little... but maybe a little break is what I needed... Hummm....

Well Colin got his top two, front teeth in a few days ago!! He'll be 7 months old tomorrow... I turned 21 June 9th... Have been making a TON of plans... Found out one of my best friends is pregnant!! Alex got switched around within his company (nothing major)... Colin LOVES to swim... Had our first ER visit... Uuuuhhhhmmmm.... I'm not sure what else... Do ask about any of these, I just have no momentum to write about them!! hahaha

Traveling....

Ugh! I'm so excited, but not looking forward to the flying part! I'm trying out a few new things when it comes to flying... So I'm really nervous. I like to know first-hand, that it's going to work out right. I'm taking two carry-ons. One with Colin's clothes (rolling) and the second being his diaper bag. Before I check my bags, it's going to be hard to walk up to check in because I have two rolling bags. lol And they don't attach very easy. I guess we'll just have to see how it goes. I called the airline to make sure that I could actually bring the rolling small suitcase as a carry-on... But I'm still nervous.

I woke up really early to clean a little and make sure I wasn't forgetting anything... But now it's 6:30am and I'm just sitting here. I have plenty to clean, but I have no motivation to clean. I know I need to get a bottle together for Colin, and a thing of food... Put on deoderant... Ya know, the normal. ;)

I guess if I have to check my small bag, it's okay... Because the airline I'm flying on doesn't charge for the first bag. So it'll be alright. I'll just mail more things back if it gets to be too much when coming home.

Another Allergic Reaction????

I'm beginning to think that I've been doing something wrong. Colin got another allergic reaction today. The only new food that I gave him was raisins... So I'm assuming that's what it was. I feel horrible. The one good thing is, there's no swelling like there was last night. I gave him his second bath of the day and put him to bed. I'm hoping that that helps with his reaction and such. But as of 11pm, no such luck... Despite the fact that I gave him a bath 2 hours earlier.

Blogging tomorrow about Memorial Day, BBQing, parades, and wonderful friends!!!

SKYPE is my new best friend!

Alex had made a promise yesterday that he was going to call today. At 12:45pm I was on the phone with the phone replacement people and had to take out my battery... So when 3pm came along, I thought for sure that I had missed that call once again. I had just laid Colin down for his nap when I went to lay down on the couch and put my feet up when I heard my Facebook chat go off. So I laid there for about 20 seconds before I decided that I should get up and see if it's Alex.

It was! We spent the next 10 minutes trying to get Facebook chat to work... Until I got the bright idea that Alex was probably on Yahoo! So I logged on and of course, he was on. I asked him if he wanted to see Colin. That's when he told me that he finally got a Skype account. We quickly added each other and started a video chat.

Alex got to see Colin do so many different things!! Colin was playing on the keyboard of my Mac, then Alex made Colin laugh and smile, then I put Colin in his exersaucer and Alex got to see him in there, and then I put Colin on the ground and that's when Colin got up on his hands and knees. I'm pretty sure Alex was amazed! I'm so happy that Alex got to see Colin do all these things, but most of all I'm happy that Colin got to see Alex.

At some point I started becoming afraid that Colin was going to think that Da-da is only a doll and pictures. Now that he actually saw that Da-da is a moving person, I think that will help a little more. Of course we have the video clips of Alex playing with Colin and of Alex reading, but Alex was actually playing with Colin! Ahhh!!!

But of course with seeing Alex on the webcam for the first time in almost 3 months... I got a little homesick. I was sitting in the middle of our living room and felt completely homesick! While talking to Alex on the webcam was amazing, it felt like he was here with us. Then he had to go and it was like he just disappeared. Of course I'm sure that I'll get used to it, but still. I took a nap and woke up feeling kinda bad.

God bless him. I'm pretty sure he was almost going to start crying half way through the conversation and a few times on top of that. He looks amazing, though!!

Oh The Things I Miss

I feel so selfish. I just want to hear his voice or feel his touch. Our bed is too big. The couch is too big. I miss just laying on the couch, watching movies on lazy Sundays. Making macaroni and cheese on cold days, and making sure to put out the hot sauce. Or having meals at our dining room table. I miss looking forward to him walking through the door each day; morning, noon, and night. I still can't put Colin to bed quite like he can. I miss his simplicity... Holding conversations with him while he sleeps. Fighting over whether we should have covers on at night or not... Or which way we should take our walk for the day. I miss walking with him... Not feeling rushed to talk before we have to hang up. I forget the way his jaw moves when he talks. The way he winks, just to let me know he loves me. I miss him waking up with Colin. The way he would calm me down in the second... Just one touch and my world would come back together. Downloading movies and talking about how lame they were. Loading the dishwasher, but not having to unload it.

I go outside to our backyard sometimes... I have no reason to, but it's what we used to do while he smoked. We'd just stand there and talked. Even when it was snowing and neither of us had coats on. We just talked. I hate that I have to rely on my teddy bear to keep me company at night, but I'm thankful that I have someone to miss. That's the reason why I feel so selfish. I am blessed to share so many memories with him. I am blessed that he is true. He is a perfect father, husband, and best friend.

May 6th

Oh so many things are happening!!

Today Colin's second bottom tooth started to come through! I can't wait for it to pop thru so that we stop having these random fits. Yes, I know it will only get worse... But it seems that right after he cuts a tooth he goes right back to being my sweet, calm little boy! So I'm hoping for the same when he finally cuts this tooth.

Colin also made friends with an old man in the middle of this second hand store we were at. The man was hobbling up the stairs so Ashley, Colin, and I stayed back to allow him enough room to make it up without rushing him. When he got up the stairs and went to pass Colin and I, Colin flashed him one of his heartbreaking smiles. The old man just bursted out talking to Colin. It was absolutely adorable! I love people that are open enough to talk to a baby. And he was a sweet man, too. So that helped a lot.

I took Colin outside this evening to see the little birds that came out to the bird feeder that we have in the back. There were all these birds just flying around us. Colin was absolutely obsessed with them! I couldn't believe how close they were coming to us, it's absolutely unreal!

So I went back to cleaning tonight. While I took a break in my bedroom, I picked up Colin and brought him in there with me. I laid him on his belly for tummy time while I watched a little bit of TV. After 5 minutes I grabbed a pillow that has a picture of him and Alex. I put the pillow in front of him to see if he would acknowledge it. Sure enough he did. He got really excited to see his daddy. He was laughing and screaming and kicking his legs. After I made the pillow 'dance' Colin managed to get one leg underneath him at a time and managed to scoot towards the pillow! 1. I think he knows a little bit of who his dad is. 2. He's starting to CRAWL!

Then after talking to my mom and Gary about all of this, I decided to put Colin into his bed at exactly 9pm. I normally wait until he falls asleep on his own, but wanted to try this out. He was asleep by 9:15pm. It is now 10:44pm and I am going to brush my teeth and go crawl into bed... Maybe write a letter to Alex. :D I'm so happy!!