The JRTC Blues

Bare with me as I get the hang of writing everything out again. Thank you! 


As most of you know, Alex recently returned from Afghanistan. Although when I say recently, I mean in late February. Well since then we have PCS'd to Fort Carson, CO from Fort Drum, NY and bought a house! Not to mention the small detail that we're expecting a little girl in February 2012. Along with expecting a new child in the New Year we're also expecting yet another deployment.

Alex left this morning for JRTC and while I am upset about it, it still hasn't hit me. We have hit a few rough patches with dealing with a deployment so soon after returning. Especially due to the fact that he is still hurting and people refuse to give him the help he needs. I imagine that at the end of the day, when it starts to get dark outside and Alex still hasn't gotten home, I'll feel like he's gone for a month. 


Dealing with the emotional part of PTSD on the family has been hard. I've been trying to help out as much as I can, but a majority of the time there is no helping it and I just have to wait until he makes the realization that things aren't adding up right in his head. I am not willing to go into detail about two of our most recent times that PTSD has taken over our family more than normal, but it was bad and I do not wish that on anyone. 


As I sit here thinking of what to do with Colin for the next month I realize that I am not ready for another deployment so soon. I mean geeze, Alex will have been home for a few weeks over a year by the time he leaves again. Not to mention that this time I will be at home with a 2 year old and a newborn. Our daughter was planned, but we figured that since I got pregnant only months after Alex returning that he wouldn't be deploying for at least 18 months. At least that was the time period in between his first deployment and second deployment. Wishful thinking I guess.


Also, since I last posted Alex has sought help for his PTSD. While doing that multiple people have mentioned him possibly having multiple TBIs. I can't help but snicker. Alex had been complaining of headaches and not being able to think straight for a while during deployment. One of the medics told my husband that it's just 'Warrior's Fog". Funny, but that's what they used to call PTSD. They refused to send him to Germany to get any type of testing done during the deployment. So when he got home we started trying to get him into the doctor. The first lady that saw him at Fort Drum told him that he most likely has PTSD and multiple TBIs and gave him a referral to the TBI clinic. Alex showed up one day to get an appointment and he was told that because he was in he process of clearing post, he couldn't be seen. We then get to Fort Carson and while going through in-processing they tell him that he has at least three TBIs and PTSD and send him to Mental Health. He goes through an appointment where he spills everything that he's been going through (which if you know any man, you know that that is the hardest thing for them to do). After everything that he went through they assigned him to Anger Management and told him that he has neither PTSD nor TBI. 


It's hard when your husband tells you that he has no idea where to go and that he needs help getting help for himself. A soldier, or any other person, should never have to feel like they can't get any help. 


I guess that's all I have for now. I need to start dinner for Colin and I and start cleaning a little bit more.