The First of Many

This marks my first blog solely about the upcoming deployment. With that being said... I am s-c-a-r-e-d, but who wouldn't be. This also marks the first night that I am spending by myself with Colin. Not like that's a huge deal, because I take care of him every day by myself... But the reality is starting to hit me that Colin is getting bigger and eventually Alex will not be here to see how big his handsome son is getting.

I feel slightly numb. I started making friends here to help me survive after Alex has left. But the friends I was so close with are starting to prove themselves unworthy. Although I can't complain too much because as this happens, I meet or get to know better more people. I know what I'm going to do during the day, what I've always done... Take care of Colin. The question is, what am I going to do by myself? This is my first deployment with Alex and I can't begin to fathom what it's going to be like. I've endured long absences before, but this is on a whole different level and there are so many different variables.

The sleepless-ness is starting. It is now 2:30am and I still haven't fallen asleep. Colin has woken up and I have fed him, rocked him, and put him back to sleep... Alex left for work this morning at 1:30am. Although I am normally like this. I don't sleep whether Alex goes to work at 1am or 6:30am. I normally don't go to sleep until 2 or 3am and then wake up at 7am with Colin.

Such is life of an Army wife and a mom. You become a single parent and take on so many different responsibilities that you may or may not know how to do. (I know how to do everything) But you go on with it, because it's the life that you married into. You take pride in your husband and you family. You make friends that would help you through anything from bringing you Ginger Ale while your sick or throwing you your baby shower because you just moved to post. You appreciate each other on a whole different level because everyone is going through the same thing, for the most part.